Wednesday, December 30, 2009


Well, another decade has come and gone... and so has a lot of our fancy techno-junk...

Remember when digital flip phones were all the rage?

Remember when shock-free portable CD players were a must have?

Remember answering machines? VCRs? Floppy drives?

Remember cube TVs!? (I do, but that's because I still have one)

The analogue era is gone, and we have officially entered the digital age.

From shopping mall directories, to pumps at the gas station, to the fridge in your kitchen, anything can be given a brain these days, and in the next 10 years the world will become a very different place yet again...

But for now, let's look back a the past ten.

The Huffington Post published an article highlighting 12 ordinary, everyday things that have essentially died off since the turn of the millenium.

Summing up how fast things change is enough to make you bust out a whaaaazzzzzuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!?

12) Calling: Believe it or not, I hate talking on the phone. Chatting with callers on the radio is one thing, but when it comes to everyday conversation, as far as I'm concerned, if it can be said in a text, say it in a text. Nothing worse than mindless Hey how are yous?

11) Newspaper Classifieds: The only thing left in the classified section these days is job ads (targeted to people who likely don't use Craigslist) and "escort services"... I can only imagine whom they're targeting...

10) Dial Up Internet: It sucked. 'Nuff said... but the sounds are pretty nostalgic, no?

9) Encyclopedias: Why buy expensive books that take up space when you can just punch it into Wikipedia? There are so many articles on there that the odds of one being fudged up by a net surfing hoodlum are pretty slim.

That said, if you want your apartment to smell of many leather bound books... an encyclopedia set may not be all that bad...

8) CDs: I still use these, and obviously they're still sold in droves. But I think that's because what people are spending their money on is not the CD (They're just going to transfer the music on to their iTunes anyway). What people are still interested in buying in the new decade is real, tangible, cover art and liner notes.

You also can't display an iTunes collection on a rack in your living room. Many people enjoy that... my CDs, however, tend to wind up on the floor of my car...

7) Landline Phones: Hellooooooooooooo? Why bother? Unless you collect rotary phones... Which is kinda cool, I must say...

6) Film and Film Cameras: These seemed to die off relatively quick! It wasn't until computer software technology caught up with that of the cameras themselves that the digital revolution seemed to take hold.

It was only a few years ago that Kodak flaunted its Advantix brand film and cameras. The ones where you can choose different photo sizes, reduce red eye, etc... impressive features for film. But, um, digital does that too.

5) Yellow Pages and Address Books: Much the same as the classifieds, these babies won't truly die out until literally every home and every person has access to an internet device. Until then, grandma is still going to turn to page 675 to find the number for the knitting store.

(No offence 'Nan, I know how much you like your knitting)

4) Catalogues: Aside from Ikea and the Sears Wishbook... when was the last time you've ever seen one show up on your door? Nope, websites are the new catalogue. It's over.

3) Fax Machines: This surprised me actually. Fax machines aren't the rock star office supply they once were, but they're still very useful I find. Besides, these days they're easily integrated into printer/scanner technology... so it's really more of a "why NOT put it in?" kinda thing.

2) Wires: The more stuff we invent, the more space their wires take up. Granted, they're still cluttering up my living room. But bit by bit and little by little they are disappearing. Wireless internet is already king. And now you can even charge some cell phones wirelessly!

The Palm Pre, for instance, charges through a magnet in the back of the phone. I don't think it'll be too long before you'll be able to make toast on your roof.

But will batteries be included? If they are they'd better toss in a loaf of bread too. Extra incentive to buy!

1) Hand Written Letters: This, I consider somewhat of a tragic result of the advances in technology.

It makes complete sense why no one writes letters anymore, why bother when you can tweet instead?

But a hand written letter is something that will never die off completely. People have been writing each other for centuries, and to this day it's still a heartwarming gesture to sit down and scribble some meaningful words for someone you love.

It's just a humbling reminder that while all these crazy innovations have become essential cogs in the way we live... the power can always go out... but the written word will last a lifetime.

Happy New Year everyone!

I wish you nothing but peace, love and the upmost of joy in 2010 and beyond!


Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Golden Balls

It's award season again!

This morning the Golden Globe nominations were dished out and for some reason Justin Timberlake was there to help do it...

JT- "I was in The Love Guru!"
Ian- "I know Justin, but that was a terrible movie"
JT- "Oh... I was in Alpha Dog..."
Ian- "I know Justin, that movie was okay, but Emile Hirsch and Anton Yelchin pretty much stole the show."
JT- "Oh... I was in Black Snake Moan"
Ian- "I know Justin... for about three seconds"
JT- "Oh... I'm dating Jessica Biel!"
Ian- "Atta boy. Here's a Grammy."
JT- "Thanks!!!! :D!!!!"

Anyway, here's a rundown on some of this year's nominees:


Best drama
The Hurt Locker - Haven't seen it, but hear it's amazing... good work HFPA, 1 point
Inglourious Basterds -Amazing film... 1 point
Precious -Kind've obvious, but it was a great movie... 1 point
Up in the Air - Not even out yet, which bugs me about these award shows... -1 point
Avatar - Not out... but I'm super excited to see it. So torn... 0.5 points

Best comedy/musical picture
The Hangover -Blown away by this one. Laughed every second... 1 point
It's Complicated - Meryl's in it... may as well toss it in the pile... 0 points
Julie & Julia - Meryl's in it, pile... oh, but it's good (I hear)... 1 point
Nine - Have YOU seen it? Because I have indeed not... at least Meryl's not in it... 1 point
(500) Days of Summer - Meh... 0 points

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama
Jeff Bridges, "Crazy Heart" - He's still at it, eh?... 1 point (for effort)
George Clooney, "Up in the Air" - Not out, looks good, Clooney is hit or miss for me... 0 points
Colin Firth, "A Single Man" - Not... out... but Tom Ford definitely is... 1 point
Morgan Freeman, "Invictus" - A. Maze. Ing. Can never go wrong with Mo-Free... 1 point
Tobey Maguire, "Brothers" - Toby creeps me out in the trailer, signs of a good actor... 1 point

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama
Emily Blunt, "The Young Victoria" - Obligatory period piece... 0 points
Sandra Bullock, "The Blind Side" -Hey, it killed New Moon... 1 point
Helen Mirren, "The Last Station" -The Last what?... Never heard... 0.5 points for Dame Hellen
Carey Mulligan, "An Education" -Peter Sarsgaard makes robbing the cradle look classy. 1 point
Gabourey Sidibe, "Precious" -Duh... she nailed it... 2 points (extra point being it's her first role)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Mo'Nique, "Precious" -Wickedly evil... but please shave your legs... 1 point
Julianne Moore, "A Single Man" -One of my all time favorite actresses... 1 point
Anna Kendrick, "Up in the Air" -Clooney's conquest BUT she grew out of New Moon... 1 point
Vera Farmiga, "Up in the Air" -Tough call, too much Clooney here... 0.5 points
Penelope Cruz, "Nine" -... 2 points... one for each chi-chi...

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Matt Damon, "Invictus" -Matt Damon can do no wrong... amazing performance... 1 point
Stanley Tucci, "The Lovely Bones" -Great story, movie looks... um... different... 0 points
Christopher Plummer, "The Last Station" -Did you know he's related to a Prime Minister? Huh... 1 point
Christoph Waltz, "Inglorious Basterds" -Phenomenal... 3 points (one for each language)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Comedy or Musical
Sandra Bullock, "The Proposal" -They meant The Blind Side, right?... 0.5 points for Betty White
Marion Cotillard, "Nine" - 1 point... I just feel obligated...
Julia Roberts, "Duplicity" -Mr and Mrs Smith knockoff... 0 points
Meryl Streep, "It's Complicated" -It's Meryl, but we need to even the score here... 0.5 points
Meryl Streep, "Julie & Julia" -... 0.5 points... please don't ever do Mama Mia again

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Comedy or Musical
Matt Damon, "The Informant!" -Go Matt! 1 point
Daniel Day-Lewis, "Nine" -Oprah hollerin' his name is still echoing in my brain... still... 1 point
Robert Downey Jr, "Sherlock Holmes" -Lurve RDJ, but this movie kinda looks like a stinker... 0 points
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, "(500) Days of Summer" -That's the kid from Third Rock, right?... Good for him... good for him... 0.5 points
Michael Stuhlbarg, "Serious Man" -Never heard of the movie, but upon googling, I want to see it... 0.5 points

Best Original Song -- Motion Picture
"Cinema Italiano," Nine -Catchy, catchy, catchy... 1 point
"I See You", Avatar, performed by LEONA LEWIS -Is James Cameron trying to make her the next Céline?... 1 point
"The Weary Kind" Crazy Heart -Does Jeff Bridges sing it? CAN he sing?... 0 points
"I Want To Come Home," by PAUL MCCARTNEY, Everybody's Fine -*Kablamo* The movie is a bomb... 0.5 points for Paul
"Winter," by U2, Brothers -These awards are stuffy enough without Bono's ego on board... -1 point

Best Animated Feature Film
Coraline -All of these movies look adorable... points for everybody!!!... 1 point
The Fantastic Mr. Fox ... 1 point
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs ... 1 point
The Princess and the Frog ... 2 points (for Disney going old school)
Up ... 1 point

Movie Score: 37.5/50


You know what? I agree with every one of these selections... except House... Sorry, just not a fan.

Television score: 18/20

Best drama series
"Mad Men"
"House M.D."
"True Blood"
"Big Love"

Best comedy series
"30 Rock"
"The Office"
"Modern Family"

Best actor in a drama series
Simon Baker, "The Mentalist"
Michael C. Hall, "Dexter"
Jon Hamm, "Mad Men"
Hugh Laurie, "House M.D."
Bill Paxton, "Big Love"

Best actress in a comedy series
Glenn Close, "Damages"
January Jones, "Mad Men"
Julianna Margulies, "The Good Wife"
Anna Paquin, "True Blood"
Kyra Sedgewick, "The Closer"

Monday, December 14, 2009

The Neighbours

I have some very eclectic neighbours in my building...

First there's the girl across the hall.
Filana is her name... Phillana... Fillanna? I barely know if I'm saying it right, let alone spelling it, but she's cool.
A hippy dippy kinda gal that burns incense, dances in the hall and leaves used books by the front door for the taking. She travels around Canada a lot working as a shaman of sorts; attending rain dances, midnight weddings in the bush, and many, many raves.
She offered to bring me some chili one night... I fear what kind of mushrooms she uses in the recipe... Still, she's good people.

Next, there's Crystal. I don't know if Crystal is actually her name, but she looks like a Crystal. Torn grey sweat pants, stained hoodies, and hair done up in a loose ponytail right on top of her head. She's the building drunk.
Occasionally we run into each other in the stairwell, and she valiantly slurs out some kind of attempt at small talk. It usually involves her former employer and how they're "huge jerks" (Crystal's choice of words is a lot more colorful).
She lives in an apartment smaller than mine. It's literally a little box at the corner of the hall right next to Fillana's place.
Her door is usually left open a crack which allows her cranked up music to be heard throughout the building. She loves everything from Kiss to The Jonas Brothers, and sings along with every track she plays...
It makes me kinda sad really. I mean, it's obvious she's an alcoholic with family issues. I base that on the highly audible arguments I've heard her have in the hall with the old man who delivers her rum.

Next up is my friend Heather...

This classy dame and I have been friends since first grade. We lived together in Edmonton for a spell and eventually both found our way to Calgary.

Then we found our way two doors down from each other... she lives down the hall right across from Crystal.

One night, shortly after moving in, Crystal stopped by her place to ask if she wanted to drink with her (Exhibit B in the alcoholism case).

This creeped Heather out and prompted her to cut me a set of keys to her place in case she ever got in "trouble".

Silly girl... she's more likely to get in trouble with yours truly... and she does.

No biggie... We cook food, drink wine, swap old stories, then hit the club from time to time... we're pretty much a pair of hip urbanites living our youth to the beat of the city. Coming from St. Paul, Alberta, this will always be a novelty...

Finally, there's the Gruesome Twosome.
Don't know their names, don't know their story, but I do know this... they have a LOT of sex...

Seriously... jackrabbits, these two.

It's a guy and a girl living together (I assume?) in the apartment that separates mine and Heather's; A mopey looking pair that have an affinity for extra-baggy jeans, wallet chains and KORN t-shirts.
Rarely seen, but always present. I've hardly ever seen either one of them leave the flat. But of the two, she tends to pop out more often.
Never for long though. She'll head out and come back about 15 minutes later with either pizza, groceries, beer or confectionary from 7-11.
As for him... I'm more likely to spot a Sasquatch doing his laundry down the hall than see him venture into the daylight.
Jobs? Doubtful... unless they're running some kind raunchy website out of their living room... which is frighteningly plausible.

There's three dead giveaways that these two are always lurking a wall away from me:

1) Movies: They own a sound system, and they have a taste for action flicks

2) Music: Surprisingly one (or both) of them is way into Three Days Grace and Evanescence... those KORN tees are a touch misleading that way.

3) The SEX!!! Lots of it. Morning glory, afternoon delight, and late night... um... escapades?

Usually the moaning and groaning on the other side of the wall can be drowned out by my television... but last night... last night was different.
Because it wasn't just moaning and groaning last night... something dark and dirty was going on next door...

I think there was a whip involved.

The cracking echoed in my dreams... *shudder*...

My neighbours... quite the motley crew... I think I'll bake them cookies for Christmas.


Friday, December 11, 2009

Totally Aliens

Something effed up happened in Norway this week...

Early Wednesday morning, while sipping their coffee, rubbing the sleep out of their eyes and mushing their kids off to school, folks from Harstad to Tromsø were amazed by a dazzling spectacle of light in the sky above.

An enormous glowing spiral appeared and rotated while a strange green beam shot out from its centre.

The entire show lasted around 12 minutes before dissolving back into the darkness.

Whoah... Move over Balloon Boy, because even if this IS a hoax... color me impressed!

Of course, my nerdy/awesome side is really hoping this is some kind of alien activity. A cross-dimensional wormhole opening up the heavens and linking us with an advanced civilization the likes of which our imagination can't begin to comprehend... or it might be some viral marketing campaign for "Avatar"...

... But sadly, the Russians are taking credit.

Suppoooooosedly it's some rocket thing they fired from a submarine that went the way of Amy Winehouse and became a cracked out mess in the sky.
Here's a smart British guy explaining how that's possible:

Thanks for that buzzkill... Rocket or not, I'm sure this thing is going to get explained away in the near future.
But in the meantime I'm working on how to greet our new alien overlords... Smile? Bow? Handshake? Would they have hands?

Damn, what should I wear?

Monday, November 23, 2009


If I were sitting in the audience of the AMA's, this would be my inner-monologue...
"Oh wow, what a fabulous night this is! There's so many celebs here. Sure was nice to see Janet back up on stage. Wonder how's she's coping these days. Hmm, I hope I have another drink ticket... I already lost one after bumping into Paula Abdul. Oh look, it's Adam Lambert! Did he WIN American Idol? No, no, it was the short one. Isn't he married? Yeah, I think he's married. Holy, that's some raunchy stuff happening on stage. Is that man on a leash?... Why is Lambert grabbing his head like that? Oh no... don't do it Adam, don't do it! Noooo!!.... aw, he did it..."

Monday, November 2, 2009

Anthony Sedlak

I love food.

And I love the Food Network.

Some afternoons there's just nothing better than frying up some frozen perogies, adding a sprinkle of Mrs. Dash, and savoring my gourmet creation while watching the pros school me at the culinary arts.
Curse you Barefoot Contessa...

Well one of my faves is definitely The Main, featuring super-chef (and homegrown Canadian) Anthony Sedlak.
This guy is only a couple years older than me, but he's already won like a bazillion cooking competitions, he's the executive chef at a posh Vancouver restaurant, he has a hit TV show... and he puts my grilled cheese to shame...

He also happens to be a pretty rad guy.
Last week I had the pleasure of chatting with Anthony about the Zantac Chili Challenge; a national competition that invites Canadians to submit their favorite chili recipes for a shot at winning a trip to the Mayan Riviera!

Dayum... I should start taking notes...

Anyway, check out my interview with Anthony right here:

You may wanna grab a snack... we gab for a bit... plus we're talking about chili so you're probably gonna get a little hungry.


Holy Ship!!!

Apparently the cruise industry knows nothing of this silly little recession...

Meet The Oasis of the Seas , the latest flagship of the Royal Caribbean fleet.

She's the largest passenger ship in the world with 2700 cabins (some of which are two-storey lofts) that can accommodate over 6300 passengers and 2100 crew members.
But all those passengers are gonna need something to do! Aside from hocking loogies into the sea... which can get pretty messy... messier still when you factor in those prone to sea-sickness...


Well all those investors aren't about to let a multi-billion dollar paint job go the way of a taxi door on a Friday night... so expect to find enough dining and entertainment on board that you'll forget you're even on a boat!
And possibly make you question why you didn't just go to Disneyland for this year's vacation.

This baby is fully loaded with zip-lines, four swimming pools, an open-air promenade/shopping concourse, seven different "neighborhoods", volleyball and basketball courts, a theme park, an ice rink, a mini-golf course, and a 750 person outdoor amphitheater... that doubles as another swimming pool...

Oh, and yes, those are rock walls next to the amphitheater... in case you wanted to take in a show whilst scaling a mountain at sea... phhht, no real mountain is gonna offer up that kinda luxury.

The Oasis of the Seas is currently en route across the Atlantic in preparation for her maiden voyage in the Caribbean later this month. Follow her on her journey and keep up to date with the captain's video log too!

Busy man... hope he's watching for those icebergs... just because this beast is 20 storeys high and 5 times bigger than the Titanic doesn't mean we should get sloppy folks!

Just to give you an idea of how enormous this beyotch is... that ship in the chart above is actually a smaller class of passenger vessel...

Alright. Sold. Who wants to go cruisin'?



Friday, October 30, 2009

Halloween Tips

Ian's Friendly Trick-or-Treating Tips for Youngsters and Parents Alike:

· Have each child carry or wear something lit – So dressing up like the invisible woman is probably not recommended.

· Adults should plan out a route in advance – Totally. You gotta make sure you hit the jackpot houses. You know, the neighbors that hand out full sized candy bars.

· Require well-fitting shoes – Pumps aren’t trick-or-treater friendly… and no one wants to be mistaken for a different “creature of the night”… yikes!

· Avoid costumes that drag on the ground – Otherwise you’re slowing down all your friends, and lessening the amount of loot they collect. Friendship FAIL.

· With the thought of comfort, pick costumes that are bathroom-friendly as well – AKA, don’t pull a Fergie.

· Be sure a child's mask allows full visibility and breathing – How did Darth Vader cope with that thing anyway?

· Trick or treaters should walk, not run, and should never cut across lawns or driveways – Some neighbors are paranoid and have shotguns… just sayin!

· Only carry flexible props - Sure, real swords are fun and all… but probably not for the ER doctors.

· Only trick or treat at houses that are lit – And if you see the last name BATES on the mailbox… you know… just stay away.

· Be sure kids don't get over-heated and keep hydrated – Trick-or-treating is a marathon event, and you want to make sure your kids return will full bags... that way you get a bigger cut.

· Think "practical" over "cute" when picking a trick or treat goody bag or container – See now, that’s smart advice. Plastic pumpkins are swell, but a pillowcase (or two) guarantees a profitable holiday experience!

· Keep track of time and don't trick or treat after 9 p.m. – The neighbors might be in bed by then… or drunk… either way, do not disturb please.

· Feed your kids a healthy meal - That way they’re less likely to fill their bellies with Tootsie Rolls and Rockets!... Thus leaving more for you when they’re tucked in for the night.

· Children of any age should be accompanied by a parent - And if you’re smart about your costume choice, you could probably pass as a fellow trick-or-treater. Think short. Hobbits, jockies, etc…

· Purchased costumes should be made of flame-retardant material – Do I really need to elaborate?

· Insist that your child goes to the bathroom BEFORE leaving the house – Again, there is much we can learn from Fergalicious…

· Never allow children to eat candy before it is inspected – Yeah! Otherwise they might eat all the good stuff and leave you with the Tic Tacs and hundred-cal snack packs… BTW, please don’t hand out Tic Tacs and hundred-cal snack packs…

· Pick up objects in the yard, sidewalk, or driveway that could create safety issues – Sure, it’s good for a laugh when someone steps on a rake, but lawsuits could ensue.

· Think "trick or treat safety" when decorating – Remember that fire-retardant costume advice? This is for the protection of people who don’t.

· Keep your house well-lit and inviting – That way it’s funnier when the guy with the chainsaw emerges from the garage… ha ha… pranks are fun.

· Be sure your pets are secured and put away – Chocolate is bad for dogs… and some dogs are bad for trick-or-treaters.

· Carefully consider treats such as healthier food alternatives – That way kids are… wait, what? No no, that’s terrible advice. Ignore that please.

Happy Halloween!!!


Thursday, October 22, 2009

Indecent Joe

Today, at a traditional ceremony in Greece, they sparked up the torch for the 2010 Olympic games.

But it's not the only torch being lit today...

Somewhere south of the border the witchhunt is on for a man who was recently arrested for committing a heinous crime! He exposed his buck-naked bod to a group of kids waiting for their school bus!

The nerve! The horror! The... inaccuracy...

Here's the thing... it was 8am, dark outside, the kids were across the street, and the man was in his own home brewing coffee in the kitchen.
To this I say... who hasn't worn their birthday suit to breakfast?

Well Fox news and the local authorities apparently haven't.
Nor do they condone it.
NOR are they going to let him get away with this dastardly deed.

Poor guy...
As an act of solidarity, I plan to make my Tim Horton's runs in the buff from now on. You've been warned.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Cheers to You

Today the top 16 for the Much Music VJ Search 2.0 were revealed!!!


... Alright, so I'm not one of 'em... but I lad can always dream...

And the dream will live on! Being a VJ is something I've wanted to do since I was 10 years old.
I also wanted a pet dinosaur named Bruce, but some dreams fade I suppose...

This one won't.

Whatever the future holds is a mystery, but here in the moment, all that exists is the dream. So it's worth holding on to. It's worth nuturing and growing. And it's definitely worth going after when the moment finally calls for it.
I went after it, and that's enough to make me feel like a winner.

Besides, I'm in Calgary talking on the radio for a living... many of my dreams have already come true!
No complaints. No regrets. And no looking back. I live a good life doing what I love to do, and that's a prize in itself.

So until the next moment comes, I owe you a thank-you.
Yes you.

It goes without saying that I wouldn't be where I am today were it not for my friends and family, but it's a fact that has never been more evident to me. Every time I set out on a new adventure I can count on your love and support. It's genuine, it's endless, and it takes my breath away. Sometimes I wonder if I even deserve it.
The beautiful thing is, even if I don't, you're there all the same. Usually with a raised glass of goodness that warms my soul. Here's one back:

A toast to you my friends and allies,

My loved ones from coast to coast.

A toast to you and all your dreams,

The ones you hold on to the most.

Cheers and much love, always.


PS- And of course, congrats to the top 16! Rock it you guys!


Michael Jackson LIVES!!!

Well... no... unless you believe the conspiracy theories (which I tend to)... but he certainly lives on at the American Music Awards!

MJ was just nominated for FIVE awards, second only to Taylor Swift who snagged 6.

The awards will be handed out November 22nd on ABC. Think the King of Pop can take the crown one last time?? Hmmm...

Here's the list of nominees:




BEYONCE (wonder if Kanye is invited to the show?)




The Fame -- LADY GAGA
Fearless -- TAYLOR SWIFT










Unstoppable -- RASCAL FLATTS
Fearless -- TAYLOR SWIFT
Foundation -- ZAC BROWN BAND








I Am...Sasha Fierce -- BEYONCE


DAY 26




Relapse -- EMINEM
Blueprint 3 -- JAY-Z
Paper Trail -- T.I.


Hannah Montana: The Movie
Hannah Montana 3


Pop/Rock Breakthrough Artist - Kings of Leon, Lady Gaga
Country Breakthrough Artist - Gloriana, Zac Brown Band
Soul/R&B Breakthrough Artist - Keri Hilson, Jeremih
Rap/Hip-Hop Breakthrough Artist - Drake, Kid Cudi

Monday, October 5, 2009

The Breast Team Ever


But seriously folks... Shout out to THE BREAST TEAM EVER! We managed to raise $7450 for The Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation and we kicked 5K's square in the butt (and in the snow!) yesterday at the CIBC Run for the Cure.

It was a blast. And truly amazing to see thooooousands of people out there for the cause. That includes the kind-hearted people who live along the route, and were out there cheering us on... as well as offering their bathrooms. Thanks for that!

Until next year my breasties!

Yeah... the boob jokes were pretty abundant too. Thanks to all for the support (you see!?!?!?)

Tata for now! (Agh! I can't stop!)


Tuesday, September 29, 2009

So Long Jon

It was only a matter of time... TLC has officially decided that Jon Gosselin is no longer a model father figure and will no longer be a part of Jon and Kate Plus 8.

Whaaaat? Well, alright then, if they think that's the best move.

Jon will be okay. I hear hosting Las Vegas pool parties can be a pretty lucrative gig! Lindsay Lohan has been doing it for years!

PS- Kate Plus 8 will premiere on TLC November 2nd. Will you be watching?

Monday, September 28, 2009

F-Bombs Away!


So SNL newcomer Jenny Slate had a pretty crummy first day on the job.

I don't blame her for ditching out on the afterparty. If I were in her shoes, I'd be curled up with a bottle of wine at home with a massive plate of chicken wings, bawling my eyes out. And the inevitable meeting with Lorne Michaels Monday morning, would only be salt in the wound.

But, you know, there are three things to consider here:

1) It was her first night performing on a legendary program, I'd be shakin' in my boots a little too!

2) I don't think it helped that on her first night, they let her lead a scene with about a hundred uses of the word "frickin'... Talk about loading the gun and handing it to her.

3) She covered up pretty damn well! If you watch the rest of the bit, she doesn't flinch, not even once... although her shocked expression after dropping the bomb was pretty hysterical. Mad respect Jenny, mad respect. You carried on like a pro!

You know, I remember my first day of first grade. I just moved to Alberta and was a little confused as to what I was supposed to be doing.

All the other kids did math.

I made spirographs.

Teacher wasn't happy... she was my Lorne Michaels.

You'll get through it Jenny! I did!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Kanye Pulls a Swift One

Shocker at the VMA's on Sunday, right?

Kanye west stole the mic and the show when he interrupted sweet little Swift's first ever VMA acceptance speech, and proclaimed that Beyoncé's Single Ladies video deserved to win.

A little later in the show, Beyoncé stepped up with a classy move after winning video of the year, and let Taylor return to the stage to finish her acceptance speech and "have her moment."

Beyoncé: 1

Kanye: -50

Not surprisingly, it didn't take long for the rumors to fly... Kanye appeared on the premiere of Jay Leno's new primetime show the very next day, and that got folks wondering if it was all just a stunt to draw audiences to Leno.
I don't think it was... I think Kanye's ego is just that gregarious... MTV is owned by Viacom, which is owned by CBS... Jay Leno is on NBC... So I ask: why in the world would they pull a stunt to plug a show on a competing network?

Nah, Kanye is just Kanye... But of course Leno had to bring up the elephant in the room!

Okay... maybe not his best apology... but when Jay asked Kanye what he thinks his departed mother would say, you can tell he was a little ashamed.

Leno shamed Kanye!?... the chin is mightier than the hair! (BTW, whattup with the doo Kanye?... I kinda like it...)

Today, Taylor Swift was on The View and told the ladies (which included guest co-host Kate Gosselin) that she hasn't heard from Kanye at all! No apology. Nothin.... well that lasted about 45 minutes.

Before the show even finished, Kanye called the producers of the show, asked to speak to Taylor, and finally told her that he's sorry...

The Full House writers couldn't have plotted it out better themselves.

So what did we learn from all of this? Kanye's a jerk? Taylor Swift is the golden child of pop music? Beyoncé really isn't a diva afterall?

Nope... we learned this...

Something CAN be done about Kate Gosselin's porcupine reverse-mullet weave!!!!
There... don't we all feel better now?

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Drop it Like it's Hot

Are you afraid of heights?

I'm afraid of tight spaces, car crashes, and papercuts in between my fingers... but heights I can do!

And this Thursday I'm doin' 30 stories worth!

The Easter Seals Drop Zone is an annual event that sends Canadians from coast to coast down the side of a skyscraper... Not to be confused with recession-hit investors leaping from their offices on Bay Street... we get ropes.

Yes, we're doing this because we're just a little crazy, but we're also supporting the amazing cause, Easter Seals Alberta.

In a nutshell, Easter Seals helps kids, adults and seniors living with disabilities. Whether it's your aunt Greta who needs a new electric scooter, or your little sister Sally who just wants to go to summer camp, Easter Seals makes it possible.

This Thursday, Sun Life Plaza downtown Calgary, check it out!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Just a Little Gas

It only happened once in my life... until today...

I ran out of gas. I pushed that little orange light on my dash to its limit, and my trusty black Focus to its last sputtering second.
All of this, of course, happened on a busy road on a busy afternoon in a relatively busy part of town. It didn't take long for the line of cars behind me to grow... it also didn't take long for their occupants to get increasingly annoyed.

Mind you, none of this came as a complete surprise. I have a habit of riding that orange light so much that I'm kind've surprised it hasn't burnt out by now.
Here's my trick.
I know once that light flashes on, I have approximately 60 to 70 kilometers of driving time before I'm dead in the water. So at the moment it activates, I reset that trip meter, and proceed on my way with a smug confidence that I'll ride those fumes all the way to my next fill-up, and probably save a buck or two in the meantime.

Well today, that smug confidence, and that little orange light, finally came back to bite me.

Not a block and half away from a gas station, the fumes ran out. In fact, I was on my way to the gas station knowing that I was pushing my luck and only had so many more molecules of petroleum to carry me to the pump. The trip meter was at 79km. Well beyond my well-calculated* (*loosely guesstimated) remaining drive time. But when the light turned green, and the ironic tow-truck ahead of me moved through the intersection, I shifted gears and hit the pedal... nothing.

So there I was. The ass of the asphalt. The loser of the lane. The squire of the stall.

...In the fast lane...

It took all of three seconds for the traffic behind me to clog up and for the frustrated drivers to pass by with a select digit held against the window.
I was embarrassed for a moment, then a little peeved off at the whole situation, and then I took a breath, sat back, and accepted it. It was my fault to begin with.
I remembered the jerry can in my trunk, and just as I was about to brave the passing cars to get it, something pretty damn cool happens.

A young guy in a rusty car with Saskatchewan plates pulled up, chuckled at my misfortune, and recognized the problem right away.
I tried to play dumb by saying my gauge was broken... he saw right through it, but empathized with the situation.
As I found out, he had been there. Many times. And he didn't hesitate to offer to go to the gas station, fill his own jerry can, and bring me a couple litres of salvation. Neither did I hesitate to accept, this predicament was just balls.

He took off for the Petro-can as I sat back to wait. When I glanced in the mirror, I noticed that the small cluster of held-up cars behind me had become four blocks of mayhem.
It doesn't take long in Calgary... I've seen it. And now I was finally "that guy". The moron in the stalled out car who didn't have the foresight to top up the night before.
Once again, a little embarrassed.

Then all of a sudden, a man with sunglasses and a book bag walks across the street and up to my window. He offers to help me get to the side of the road, and before I could even step out to assist, a burly guy in a half-ton behind me hops out of his seat, and the two of them shove my dead fish car to the side, and just as stand up through the sunroof to say thanks, they're off on their way.
Not a minute later, the rusty Saskatchewinite returns with a full can and a smile. Not another minute after that, I was off on my own way.

I gave the guy the last 10 bucks I had in my wallet. He accepted after a bit of insisting, but I felt like it wasn't payment enough. It more than covered the gas, but after being shown such unconditional kindness from three complete strangers, it seemed like a lazy token of gratitude.

But as I carried on, I realized that one way or another, that 10 bucks was bringing just a little happiness into this stranger's life, and I in exchange had been plucked right out of that pickle in less than ten minutes without so much as a phone call.

It reminded me that there are good people out there, everywhere, and it's all to easy to forget them. Maybe it's because we spend too much time dwelling on the people who broke us, that we forget there are people out there who are more than happy to put us back together.

I'm grateful to the Saskatchewanite. Maybe for a couple things. Now, I'm just looking forward... to paying it forward.

But I'm still going to ride the orange light. This time I'll max out at 70 for sure.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

An Announcement Two-Fold

Been a while since I've posted a blog... and that's because it's been a very busy summer!

I've got a million and one stories to share from my trip to Newfoundland and Nova Scotia (not to mention plenty of photos) but first... an important announcement!

Congratulations Erin Wilde!!!

My friend and co-worker, Erin, just gave birth to her third child, cutie-pie Morgan Rae was welcomed to the world on July 29, 2009.

She was 9 pounds! Good grief... Erin, you are a strong woman!

With the new arrival safe and sound at home, Erin will be taking a maternity leave from Energy 101.5... and that leads me to announcement #2...

I have officially taken over the mid-day show!!!

Hittin' the airwaves from 9 to 3 and doing my best to keep Erins loyal audience tuned in and entertained (hope it's working so far!). But no worries if you're a fan of the Freeway and Meg morning show, I'll still be a part of that crazy crew too!

It's an exciting step for both of us, and I'm eager to see what else will come to pass in the months ahead. Erin, we miss you, but thanks to you and baby M for giving me this opportunity. Be well and enjoy that well-deserved glass of wine! :)



Thursday, May 21, 2009

The Olympic Toke

What does this look like to you?

Why, it's the official torch for the 2010 Olympic Winter Games in Vancouver... it also looks a lot like something else Vancouver is famous for.

I can't help but chuckle... but that's to be expected (!!!)...

PS- I wonder if Ross Rebagliati will be competing this time around.


Say whaaaaa!?

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The Times

I'm guessing you've heard about this whole Miss California debaucle.

If not, here's what went down:

During the 2009 Miss USA pageant, Prejean was asked by pageant judge Perez Hilton whether she believed every U.S. state should legalize same-sex marriage. She responded, "Well I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one way or the other. We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. You know what, in my country, in my family, I do believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman, no offense to anybody out there. But that’s how I was raised and I believe that it should be between a man and a woman."

- source: Wikipedia -

Miss Prejean found herself right in the middle of a cultural war with that statement, and many supporters of gay marriage think she should have been decrowned for it.

I disagree... wait, wait, wait, hear me out!

I disagree that she should be decrowned for the statement. Sure, it's an outdated way of thinking, but it's still her opinion. She gave an honest answer to an honest question and she shouldn't be penalized for it.
I do agree, however, that Carrie Prejean should be stripped of her title as Miss California USA for these lovely little snapshots that have been making the rounds on the net.

Opinions are opinions, but Miss California flat out lied when she signed up for the job. Any employer would fire her for doing so... except Donald Trump it seems. I guess business ethics can be shoved aside when there's a profit to be made from the publicity.

The whole thing has become such a mess, and it's unfortunate that the heart of the matter... the gay marriage debate... is in the center of a mass of skeezy marketing, profiteering, and indifference to the cause.

Keith Olbermann says it best...

Yep... the times sure are changing!

Come gather round people wherever you roam
And admit that the waters around you have grown
And accept it that soon you'll be drenched to the bone
If your time to you is worth saving
Then you'd better start swimming or you'll sink like a stone
For the times, they are a changing
Come writers and critics who prophesize with your pens
And keep your eyes open, the chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon, the wheel's still in spin
And there's no telling who that it's naming
Oh the loser will be later to win
For the times, they are a changing
Come senators, congressmen, please head the call
Don't stand in the doorway, don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt will be her that has stalled
The battle outside ragging will soon shake your windows
And rattle your hall
For the times, they are a changing
Come mothers and fathers all over this land
And don't criticize what you can't understand
Your sons and your daughter are beyond your command
Your old role is rapidly aging
Please get out of the new one if you can't lend a hand
For the times they are a changing
The line, it is drawn, the curse, it is cast
The slow one will later be fast
And the present now will soon be the past
The order is rapidly fading
The first one now will later be last
For the times, they are a changing
- Bob Dylan

Friday, April 24, 2009


Recently the Government of Alberta released its shiny new 25 million dollar promotional campaign, featuring a fresh, re-branded image for the province.
A new logo, a new slogan, and many stunning photographs of some pristine, down-home Alberta scenery.
One such photo is the one I've posted above. Two happy children frolicking on the beach of an Alberta lake, eminating the spirit of the future Alberta wants to present to visitors and residents alike...
... too bad that isn't in Alberta...
You see, the photo is actually that of a beach near Northumberland, England... the legendary birthplace of Sir Lancelot...
Of course, there's a story behind the discovery of the truth behind the picture, and it kinda makes you wonder why the folks who shelled out 25 million taxpayer dollars (during a global recession) didn't read the fine print...
I'm sure they have a good reason... the world is a busy place these days. Twitter and what-have-you...
I love Alberta, I think it's one of Canada's most beautiful and dynamic provinces and I'm proud to call it home. So here's a few snapshots I put together that will hopefully help out the new campaign.
Freedom to create
Spirit to achieve!

So... who wants a steak?


Thursday, April 23, 2009


I'm terrible with money.

A lot of people are. But it's an issue, well, a lot of people are uncomfortable bringing up. (Right here).

We can talk eachothers ears off about the recessions, bailouts and bankruptcy, all of which are serious issues today, but they are also not that common for the commonest of folk.
IE... forever-renters. (Right here)

I don't own property, I don't buy stock bonds and I probably couldn't properly explain to you what an RRSP is... but I'm still human, and credit cards are just so damn easy to mess around with... Money is money, it is what it is, and that's why it is also something we can learn to manage.

A few weeks ago we launched The Money Minute on Energy 101.5, and with a little (a lot) of help from our friends at ATB Financial, we're gonna break down the basics of money management and planning, so that the rest of us (right here) can finally make some cents of it all (I had to throw that in).

It's quite simple.

Crank that radio up on 101.5, and throughout the day you'll hear a quick, one-minute segment with myself and Sonu (a whiz!!!) from ATB Financial, with a couple quick and easy tips on how you can start to improve your currency chaos! (Ha, did you like that?)

Every new week will feature information on the basics like how to pick the right checking account? What he heck is a credit score? And how to I figure out this new-fangled mortgage?

Sonu knows her stuff, and she's pretty rad too. So we're gonna have some fun learning a whole lot of useful stuff together.

In fact, ATB is helping me dig my way out of my own financial mess, and they've been unbelievably helpful and caring so far.

ATB will go the distance for you, that I can say with confidence.

So check out The Money Minute. It might be that lightbulb moment where you can start to help yourself too.

And hey, if you miss it or, you know, don't own a radio or something... check it out online!

Oh, and by the way...

If you have a question you'd like us to answer, send it in! If we read it on the air, then ATB Financial will give you ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!


It's all about the dolla-dolla bills yo!

Take care folks, hope to hear your questions soon!



Oh, P.S. Check out Sonu's fancy photo from a Workopolis ad... she's suuuuuch a diva ;)

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Letterman's Top 10 Reasons for Getting Hitched

Ha ha ha... I'm pretty sure he's serious...

10. Poconos offers newlyweds free room with champagne-glass Jacuzzi.
9. If I'm gonna catch Larry King, I'd better get going.

8. Still drunk from St. Patty's, dude!

7. She needed a green card.

6. When you're my age and look like I do, if someone says they'll marry you, you do it.

5. Don't have to listen to any more crap from that quack Dr. Phil.

4. I finally fit into my dream dress!

3. Free cake

2. Got tired of waiting for Paris Hilton.

1. Figured at the least we'd get a mediocre Top Ten out of it.

Monday, February 2, 2009


Ok, so... Twitter.

I get it, I think.

But it seems a bit odd.

The name is sure funny. And it's even funnier when you hear Lloyd Robertson say "Follow the news with Twitter at CTV dot ca."
I don't think Lloyd Robertson knows what Twitter is.
I barely do.

The concept I understand. Especially as a seasoned Facebook user. It's basically a site committed to status updates.
And instead of friends, you have followers.
So you sign up for this site, give yourself a catchy nickname, round up a bunch of followers, and then...



Uh, I'll get back to you on that. But so far it sounds like the makings of a cult. All we need are satin robes, a punch bowl, and a bald guy with an Astrovan who promises a better life on the moons of Jupiter.

That said, I'm on Twitter now. So... wanna follow me? I'm very interesting.

Monday, January 26, 2009


There are 2.5 things I'm friggin' in love with right now.

The first is Slumdog Millionaire.

Oh, you've heard of it?

I can't help but fall in love along with the masses. It's an amazing movie. Hauntingly alive and desperately human. It resonates with love and passion for damn good filmmaking. Danny Boyle is the man. He won my heart with 28 Days Later and never gave it back.

The second is Happy-Go-Lucky. It's another Oscar contender rubbing elbows with the Benjamin Buttons and the literate Kate Winslets, but all the big kids are kinda hogging the spotlight.

Doesn't phase the good people behind this movie though. "It's all part of it" as Poppy would say. She's the adorable and colorful leading lady you see beaming away in the stripes there. She makes me wonder if I need to be a nicer person, but also grabs me by my heels and brings me back down to earth to share a laugh about it. If life is one big roller coaster then people like Poppy are riding in the front car.

The final .5 is M.I.A.

Let it be known folks, by no means is she half of anything. She's the entire package!

She's an artist who grew up in Sri Lanka, India and the UK and now she makes incredible music from one of the most genuinely artistic (and badass) souls I've seen.

She also contributed to the score for Slumdog Millionaire. That endeavor banked a nom at the Oscars. It's yours my dear! It has to be.

M.I.A. aka Missing in Action. Ugh, so cool. She makes me wanna copy that t-shirt.

I just might.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The Intervention: Follow-up

My name is Ian.


I used to have a messy room... but not anymore!


... after!

I admit. It felt good to sleep in a clean room with springtime fresh sheets. I just hope I can keep it up! Especially now that all of Calgary is aware of my old *ahem* habits.

But check it... the cleaning bug bit hard this week and I was even motivated enough to tackle the post-holiday mess that was left in the living room.

You know how it goes... January hits, and you just can't muster up the energy after weeks of lethargic gluttony.

Ain't no thang really, it happens to us all... but the difference is pretty rad.


... after!

Ahhhh... it feels good to get clean. Now to tackle that crack addiction... (kidding!)