10. Poconos offers newlyweds free room with champagne-glass Jacuzzi.
9. If I'm gonna catch Larry King, I'd better get going.
8. Still drunk from St. Patty's, dude!
7. She needed a green card.
6. When you're my age and look like I do, if someone says they'll marry you, you do it.
5. Don't have to listen to any more crap from that quack Dr. Phil.
4. I finally fit into my dream dress!
3. Free cake
2. Got tired of waiting for Paris Hilton.
1. Figured at the least we'd get a mediocre Top Ten out of it.